In which I aim my caustic invectives at Rolling Stone’s gimmick to sell magazines.

by Terrance Terich

02.27.2004

As this column focuses on the music that should be considered the best of the best, the ones to have in your collection at all cost, I was interested in taking a look at Rolling Stone's new issue of the 500 greatest albums of all time. I figured that it would be a great representation of the "Truly Great". They had 273 musicians, record executives, producers, writers, etc. give their Top 50 lists to the magazine and then had those picks compiled by Ernst & Young. This last item makes me happy because I believe that accountants should always be the arbiters of great music. Oh, was I being sarcastic? Sorry.

Anyway, as I pored through the huge list I found trends that made me nod my head in agreement, and trends that made me stand up and shout at the glossy pages as if it were a living entity that would cower with my verbal abuse. The following is a list of those reflections and notes I made as I went:

This list fails to address the idea that an album should be comprised of a collection of songs from a specific period of time, i.e. a single recording session, a deliberate collection of original material, etc. The list should look at the album as a whole (i.e. unifying themes, flow, arrangement, etc.) The number one album on the list, Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band, is a worthy frontrunner, but in my opinion, not the best Beatles album on the list. In this critic's humble opinion, the number one slot should have been given to Revolver, which was their #3. The one drawback, to me, is that the song "A Day in the Life", a truly great song, doesn't fit in with the rest of the material. It is an add-on song that should have just been a single, or should have been included on the aforementioned Revolver or Rubber Soul.

The magazine specifically left out a genre identifier, meaning that they did not make it a list of the greatest "Rock and Roll" albums. Jazz albums simply need to be not included. Yes, it is greatest albums (all categories of all time) but Kind of Blue and A Love Supreme stand on their own as the #1 and #2 greatest jazz albums. Let's just make it rock and leave it at that. If including jazz, why not comedy albums?

Artists who came before the album concept should not have "Greatest Hits" or compilation albums included. They had great singles; they never put together their own idea of an album. This should also include anthologies, box sets, etc. Some examples: Chuck Berry, Muddy Waters, Al Green, Ray Charles, Sly and the Family Stone, James Brown's Star Time, Sam Cooke, Hank Williams (a greatest hits, then a complete songs box set? Pick one people!) The Byrds, Curtis Mayfield, Abba, Neil Diamond, Patsy Cline, Jackie Wilson, Jerry Lee Lewis, Madonna, David Bowie, Linda Ronstadt, Loretta Lynn, plus some I probably missed, are all on this list with these types of albums. If we are being true to the concept of the album, these should have been thrown out. If it makes you upset, do another magazine with either "Best Greatest Hits albums of all Time", "Best Singles of All Time", or "Greatest Artists of All Time" as they are simply trying to have their favorite artists included by throwing in the GH's.

Live albums I understand, Nirvana's MTV Unplugged, James Brown, Stop Making Sense, etc. I see the difference in that, unlike GH's, live albums are a completely different take on the songs the artist originally released. The Nirvana album I mentioned has great new versions of songs in their repertoire that take on lives of their own in this format.

Although I love lists, every list made comes down to opinion, which means that I'll give you mine. At this point in time, should Nevermind be ahead of The Joshua Tree? I don't know. I really don't. But it's eating me up inside. I listen to The Joshua Tree far more than I listen to Nevermind. Does that make it a better album? Does Nevermind still stand where it did in 1991? Again, I don't know.

And the first Bowie album at #35? I suppose in the long run that 35 is pretty darn high, but The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars is in my top ten.

I do agree with It Takes a Nation of Millions to Hold Us Back being the highest rap entry and Ramones coming ahead of Never Mind the Bollocks, Here's the Sex Pistols, and The Bends before OK Computer. Am I crazy? Maybe. I also believe that Amnesiac is better than Kid A.

I love This Year's Model but before My Aim is True, Imperial Bedroom and Armed Forces? And is this ranking based on the CD's with bonus tracks? If "Radio Radio" weren't counted on that album, would it rank as high?

Tim coming after Slanted and Enchanted is insulting. `Nuff said.

REM's Murmur practically defined college rock. (#197?)

I think Loveless and The Queen is Dead should have at least cracked the top 200. However, thanks for putting Psycho Candy at 268. I'm just glad it made the list. But Loveless is one of the true examples of an artist creating a near-perfect album in one go. For that it should be at least ahead of any GH that is on the list.

Nebraska after four other Bruce Springsteen albums?

Aaaaahhh! Doolittle at 226! Are there really 225 other albums better than Doolittle?

Jeff Buckley's Grace at 303. This is a crime. Yet another of those near-perfect albums.

And if you're including jazz, why is Frank Sinatra's first entry at 100, and the second at 306? Frank practically invented the idea of "album", or at least "concept album". Thankfully the first entry is the amazing In the Wee Small Hours. But what about September of My Years, or Come Fly With Me? Again, he probably shouldn't have even been included in the first place, just like the jazz albums. Because for that matter, where's Dean Martin?

I'm glad that Johnny Cash's American Recordings are represented, (thank you Rick Rubin for voting for yourself) but volume IV has quickly become the best of the four.

Sorry, but the Strokes? The White Stripes? Frank Sinatra and Miles Davis are spinning in their graves, …and not to their music.

Rain Dogs should be the highest ranked Tom Waits.

How did Sandinista even get ranked when albums such as (just to name a few) Tori Amos' Little Earthquakes, Blur's Parklife, The Great Escape, or Blur, Ani DiFranco's Out of Range, Wilco's Yankee Hotel Foxtrot, ANY Elliott Smith album, The Jam's In the City or All Mod Cons, DJ Shadow's Endtroducing…, R.E.M.'s Life's Rich Pageant, or XTC's Skylarking aren't represented at all?

I can forgive some other exclusions because of the fact that some are merely cult favorites (i.e. Jawbox's For Your Own Special Sweetheart or Jawbox, Neutral Milk Hotel's In the Aeroplane Over the Sea, Soul Coughing's Ruby Vroom, or They Might Be Giants' Lincoln.)

Glad that P.J. Harvey was included, but 405 as the first entry? At least they included two of her albums.

I can also forgive some other exclusions because of their recentness, such as albums by Sigur Ros, The Shins, Spoon, The Postal Service, and Death Cab For Cutie as I believe that time will show the brilliance of ( ), Chutes Too Narrow, Kill the Moonlight, Give Up, The Photo Album, and especially Transatlanticism.

I will not, however, forgive the fact that they included every Eminem album released. I am sick of these "journalists" kissing his ass.

Yes, the Beatles are the greatest band ever, but does that warrant eleven of their fourteen albums being included on the list? There should be some editing. That being said, I would have a hard time excluding all of the Smiths albums that they did, save for Louder than Bombs. Singles collection, repeated songs, get rid of it.

Well, that's all the invective I have for today. I'm spent. Here's a homework assignment for each of you: Make a list of your favorite albums in the order you want, post it on your wall above your CD rack, and then don't give a shit what anyone else thinks about it. I'm sure Rolling Stone doesn't care about my ranting. Next time I promise to be back with another album to have in your collection that is "Truly Great". Ta-ta.